Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Lean on Me

The other night I broke down and cried in front of C because I was so stressed out because of money.

As embarrassing as that was, it was also a huge relief too.

Let me back up….

When I first met C I was determined to not even slightly look like the kind of girl that was dating an athlete for their money. I wanted to be independent.  I insisted on paying for myself for some things or even sometimes paying for our dates.  I think that is fair anyways in a relationship.  Why should a man have to pay for everything?  The problem is, I can’t keep up.  He wants to go out to movies and dinners all the time. When he wants to order pizza, its the $28 fancy pizza, not the $7.99 deal from Domino’s.  When he goes out to dinner he sometimes orders two entrees!  I just can’t afford that.

Especially now, since after my “roommate” woes I am actually down money. Meaning for the period she lived with me (yes, she’s since left) my bills got A LOT higher and she never paid me.  She still owes me almost $700. I will probably never see that money.  She also cleaned out pretty much all of my food (stuff she knew full well was purchase before she even got there and wasn’t hers to take). So right now I am struggling with just pennies to my name. 

So last Friday I crumbled.  I went over to his house and I just let it all out.  I cried. I told him I was stressed out and that I didn’t have money to keep up with him.  I worried that maybe he was viewing me as I was viewing my roommate, someone who just came to his house and ate all his food.  That maybe it was bothering him that I didn’t ever help out on the grocery bill.

You know what?  He reassured me and told me none of my fears were true.  He told me he loves me and that it makes him happy to support me. And then he said: “We are running this race together.  Sometimes I’m going to need to hop on your back and sometimes you are going to need to hop on mine.”

Isn’t that the truth?  In a relationship, sometimes we are just going to need to lean on the other person.  The fact that he said that meant so much to me. I felt so safe in his arms at that moment.

I love him with all of my heart….and he deserves it.

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